A Song for Julia by Charles Sheehan-Miles

Author:Charles Sheehan-Miles [Sheehan-Miles, Charles]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 0988273632
Amazon: B00AHK8MN0
Publisher: Cincinnatus Press
Published: 2012-12-02T00:00:00+00:00

Just for now (Julia)

When I woke up in the morning, the sun shone through the window, reflected off the snow in the Quad and glared off the walls with white light. I quickly became aware of three things. First, Crank was spooned behind me, his lips just brushing the back of my neck. That felt … really nice. Second, his right arm was curled around my side, and his hand was cupped around one of my breasts. Not exactly what I had intended to wake up to. Finally, he had an erection. There was no question that was what was pressing up against my backside.

He was dead asleep, and the last thing I wanted to do with him in this condition was wake him up. Which presented me with a problem. How was I going to pry his hand loose from my boob, and get out from under his arm, without waking him up? Because if he woke up, he was going to want to do something about that other problem. And honestly, feeling his breath, and the slight touch of stubble against the back of my neck, not to mention his hand…it made me want to do something about it, too.

I felt … different this morning. Drained emotionally. Yesterday … from the confrontation between Sean and his dad, the incredibly sad scene of Jack and Margot, not to mention Crank … and then me suddenly spilling my guts … all of it was just too much. I felt like someone had taken a wire brush to my skin. But I felt something else, and it was strange, and confusing.

I woke up happy.

Part of me wondered if instead of trying to escape from Crank’s arm, I should cuddle in, wake him up, wake that up, and do something about it.

Part of me was still terrified. He’d held me tight, while I cried myself senseless last night. I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. Oh, right. Because it had never happened. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt safe and comfortable.

I closed my eyes and just lay there. I was warm, and for right now, I just hoped he didn’t wake up. It was easier to not have to decide anything right now, to not feel any pressure of any kind. Maybe it was better just to take things slowly. I was leaving for San Francisco in a few weeks for the holidays, after all. That would give me some time to explore this and figure out exactly where I was headed.

I wasn’t looking forward to going to San Francisco at all. I’d managed to get out of going home for Thanksgiving this year, but Christmas was another thing. They expected me, and there was no getting out of it. School was closed from mid-December until late January, five full weeks. Five weeks with my mother browbeating me daily, telling me what a disappointment I was, telling me she didn’t raise me to be a whore.

I wasn’t what she thought I was.

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